CALLING IT QUITS WITH A DRUG ADDICT!
That is at least if you are the addict. Someone who is in a relationship with a drug user is also caught up in the cycle, whether or not they even recognize or like it. Their cycle is slightly different but includes:
- Worrying about the addict
- Worrying about money
- Dealing with withdrawal consequences
- Trying to be supportive and understanding
- Constant incrimination and legality concerns
- Coming in 2nd to the drug
- And much more
If you are in a relationship with a drug user, you must face up to the facts and care for yourself enough to break away. A common misconception is the thought that by loving the person more and maintaining presence and close support, the addict will be helped and they might quit. Unfortunately, this is far from the truth.
Staying in a relationship with a user is self-defeating and destructive to not only the user, but also the partner. A user's partner only serves as a distraction, enabler, and extra victim. The best thing to do is leave. And by breaking off the relationship, a multitude of things can begin to happen:
- The user will have time to reflect
- The user may feel extra motivation to get help
- The user is forced to face their disease and bear its entire weight
- The partner will drop a huge burden
- The partner will be able to reflect, begin healing, and ultimately learn a great deal
One main reason though that prevents many partners from acting is the sheer difficulty of breaking up and not knowing the best way to go about it. This is certainly understandable because it is tough. But if done right, the conscience can be clear and real benefits will come.
Explain to them that you care and that you have to do what is best for you. Do not allow them to pull leverage by making it a love issue or any other problem of yours. Most importantly, you must be kind about it, yet unyielding in your decision and encourage them to seek help or treatment. There are many options for treatment, but it is not your duty to figure it out for them. Reputable facilities and specialist, such as the Delray Recovery Center, will be the ones for them to talk to and figure out which program is the best for them.
If future involvement is the plan, tell your using partner this and that the only path to reunion is through treatment and proven sobriety. But do realize that in most cases, reunion is not the eventual outcome.
It is difficult, but you must remember that it is the best thing you can do to help them and yourself. Remember that you will benefit greatly from your decision. And keep in mind that continued contact after the break-up will only prolong the pain of the process. You can do it. Be strong and put your mind to it. You are now on your way to a much happier life.
Melisa Cammack has been freelance writing for several years, and loves writing self-help and parenting articles.