What Your Straight Mom Should've Told You About Being A Lesbian


I know you regret certain incidents in your life simply because no one was there to guide you through them. Some people have “gay” phases, like the girl who makes out with every other girl when she’s drunk at a party. Or the one girl who had a girlfriend all through high school and college then in her adulthood she realized she loved sausages over her eggs. Some of us still have not grown out of that phase and if you’re a Lesbian, you possibly had a “straight” phase. If your mother is a conservative heterosexual, it may be hard for her to give you advice on what boxers to wear and what neon color to dye your mohawk. Either way, you probably wish your mom had guided you through the whole figuring-out-your-sexuality thing during your growing years. And possibly some tips on getting girls. 1. Stereotypes

The Lesbian world is notorious for having ridiculous stereotypes in ranging how masculine or feminine a woman-lover is. This makes it easier for us to identify ourselves and others. Knowing how to approach a woman that fits the stereotype determines how compatible you may be with a woman. The most common types are Butch/Femme then it gets a little more complicated within the two extremes with definitions such as Stem, Stud, Soft Butch, Chapstick, Touch-Me-Nots and a whole range of other labels. Some Lesbians call themselves “No Label” meaning that they obviously don’t label themselves as anything(although most Lesbians familiar with the culture stick them in a category according to appearance anyways.) This is 2015, you can be a butterfly with tiger stripes if you don’t want to restrict yourself into a category, but knowing where you fall on the Lesbian spectrum will make it easier on your confused sapphic soul.


2. You’re still a woman

The classic image of a Lesbian is portrayed as a Butch, or a woman whose appearances and actions reflect that of a man. I am here to say that you can still wear your heels, shop at Victoria’s secret and fiercely wear your new lipstick down the street and pretend you’re Beyonce. Lord knows I can’t live without my hot pink crop-tops and cheetah print make-up bag. It doesn’t make you less of a woman if you wear boxers either because as long as you have a vagina you are the God’s greatest gift to earth aside from cheesecake. Embrace your once in a month phenomenon, appreciate your cleavage and if you live with a fellow dyke, there might be severe battles over the last tampon in the house.


3. Experiment

Most parents don’t promote experimenting with sexuality but in this day and age, you can’t prevent it from happening. Experimenting is o.k. as long as no one gets hurt in the process. Do boys make you feel beautiful? Do girls sweep you off your feet? Maybe both sexes have you so confused emotionally that everyday is whirlwind of fuzzy emotions. Talk to someone, reach out, write a list if you must. Figuring out what you want and who you want in life is very important. No rush either! You have the rest of your life to figure it out. I personally like spending long desperate hours at Herstory Archives(world’s largest collection of Lesbian material by Lesbians)down in Brooklyn figuring out how snails, Lesbians and polka dancing can relate to each other.



4. Being Gay Is Okay!

Cliche as paper-mâché they say, but have no fear in being queer my dear! It is quite the emotional strain knowing that you are different than most. Your straight friends never had to come out to their families as straight and you’re still not sure if your pet iguana would approve of it. If momma has not told you already, I am very proud of who you are and New York City has a crazy parade every year in acknowledgement of your differences. Relationships are relationships and as long as you end up with someone who treats you right, it should not matter if your girlfriend is a truck driver who religiously does not believing in bathing and collects ants as a hobby. If she loves you for you, momma bear should happily give her approval.