Healing: Creating My Zen Paradise
Declutter has taken on a new meaning in my life. Let me explain.
When I broke up with my 9-5 and decided that I needed a few months to myself, home became my relationship. Throughout the last two years, I’ve gotten rid of pounds and pounds of clothes. Everyday I find an item that I don‘t want and I’d add it to my weekly “You Gotta Go” bag. As a fashionista who lives in a city with seasonal weather change, I had clothes for just about any occasion you could think of. In hindsight, I had an excess of everything, perhaps because back then retail therapy was my bandaid. During the process, I lost value in material things. I decluttered everything--my pajamas drawer, underwear, books, old stationery, make-up, shoes, and everything else you can think of. Clearing out energy became my favorite part of the day.
The overwhelming feelings of disharmony that ran through my soul led me to paint my then red bedroom walls, white. My bedsheets needed to be white. My duvet cover needed to be white. This intense desire of needing to see things in my personal space in white was an indicator of the deep change that I was about to undergo. I wanted to breathe easier, and just live easier. I moved to a different room in my apartment. I had to switch things up. This space was originally blue. To paint I went again to create a new nest for my tender soul.
Photos by Josias Valdez
I became so adamant about ridding myself of everything that didn’t serve me that even gifts from men from my past were added to the “You Gotta Go” bag. These gifts all had unresolved emotional issues and they no longer needed to live with me. When friends would visit, I’d have this bag up for grabs. I even gave away 2 bags of clothes at a sister circle I had last Spring. At one point I felt, well damn, how much more can you rid yourself of? But I kept going until I felt the lightness that I now feel.
To let ya’ll know how deep I went, I even threw out my mattress and purchased a new one early last year. I reached a place of letting go that I didn’t want to rest my soul on the same bed that I played with men who didn’t appreciate me and who hurt me. Not to victimize myself because it takes two to Tango, but I just couldn’t rest in peace. For Valentine’s Day last year, I gifted myself a Tempurpedic mattress. Probably my biggest big girl investment of that year.
Build A Garden
During this time I also built a relationship with nature. Being raised by a grandmother who has a real garden in her apartment, becoming closer to her image brought a lot of compassion for me. One day, my intuition kept hinting for me to build a garden similar to hers right in my bedroom. My ears would ring at the mention of this garden. It was an intuitive message that I knew I needed to follow.
A healing environment begins in our homes. My bedroom is my oasis and a statement of my essence. It is a reflection of who I am, where I’ve been and of where I’m headed. Clutter, no matter in which environment it is, reflects how you feel about yourself.
Through whatever you are going through, have self-compassion, remember that you are LOVED. Take a hold of what you want to change.
Your home has the ability to:
Influence your mood
Impact one's behavior
If you are where I was, take a look at your space with no judgment. Be honest with what you want your space to be next.
Declutter. Cleanse. Your soul is calling for it. Need some help? Hit me up.